


Negotiation

by Fabrisse



Category: Glee
Genre: F/M, Season/Series 04
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-10
Updated: 2013-03-10
Packaged: 2017-12-04 20:06:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/714562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fabrisse/pseuds/Fabrisse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt talks to Brody about that pager.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Negotiation

**Author's Note:**

> Drug dealer was not my first thought when Brody walked out of that room with a lot of cash. This story is not kind to Brody.

“Hey, Babe.” Brody walked through the door and spoke quietly to the figure sitting at the table.

“Call me ‘babe’ again, and I’ll give Santana your balls to wear as earrings,” Kurt said sweetly.

“I thought you were Rachel.” He flicked the light switch and said, “Where is she?”

“Santana took her out for some girl bonding time.”

Brody said, “And you weren’t invited?”

“Not this time. And, by the way, Santana can make jokes about my being effeminate because a, I knew her in high school, and b, she’s earned my friendship. You don’t have either of those things going for you.”

“Yeah, yeah. And I’m not fit for Rachel to wipe her feet on.” Brody shook his head. “I knew you didn’t like me, but is this going to be the brotherly, friendly ‘don’t hurt her’ lecture?”

Kurt gestured at the chair across from him. Brody thought for a moment, then sat.

Kurt said, “No. First of all, the first time you came here, I called you cute. I encouraged Rachel to listen to her feelings for you when she broke up with my brother, and the only thing I’m not thrilled by is that she asked you to move in here without checking with me.” He frowned. “Well, it _was_ the only thing I wasn’t thrilled by.”

“I get it. Don’t walk around naked. It gets you horny.”

Kurt rolled his eyes. “Why do straight men always think we’re salivating to get them into bed? You’re not my type. I reiterate, I was happy that Rachel found someone – a way to move on when she and Finn broke up. That’s not why I want to talk to you.”

Brody nodded. “Shoot.”

“First of all, a little roommate etiquette. Clean your whiskers out of the sink when you shave, stop making out on the kitchen counter because people prepare food there, and buy your own avocados for a change.”

Brody said, “That was a very dramatic buildup for a clean-the-sink-better lecture.”

Kurt said, “Santana has no concept of propriety or personal space. Rachel and I are working on it with her.”

“So, what, she put itching powder in my dance belt?” Brody grinned.

“No, she went through every square inch of this place while Rachel and I were at school. She has already teased me about my stash of classic muscle magazines. I don’t know what she found of Rachel’s.” Kurt took a deep breath and said, “I do know what she found of yours – a pager and a stash of money, twelve hundred dollars – none of which you’ve offered to contribute to household expenses.”

Brody went pale and then shrugged. “Once I made my last tuition payment for the semester, I was going to talk to Rachel about chipping in on the rent. Tell me Santana hasn’t spent it. I don’t think NYADA would understand about her making my payment late.”

Kurt looked away. “I wondered how you were going to play it. I did my research before I had my first NYADA audition. When Rachel brought you home, I recognized your name immediately. You’re attending on the Gelman-Waxner scholarship. It's listed on the website. Santana thinks you’re a drug dealer. I’m hoping that she’s right.”

“Dude, I’d never thought of you as an appreciator of altered states. I’m not a dealer, but I know where I could score some ‘E’ for you. It might get that stick out of your ass.”

Kurt raised an eyebrow. “No. I’m not a fan of altered states. I came to school drunk my sophomore year and vomited on the guidance counselor’s shoes. I don’t pop anything, smoke anything, and I only drink sparingly now. I doubt that will change,” he said coldly.

Brody said, “Just think about trying some ‘E,’ because you are seriously wound too tight.”

“You’re a prostitute.”

Brody shook his head. “Have you considered writing as a career? You’ve got a hell of an imagination.”

“I do. I pulled together a wedding in under a week because I have one hell of an imagination. I’m not imagining this.”

Brody stood. “I don’t have to listen to this.”

“You don’t,” Kurt said. “But I’d like to point out that you denied dealing. You haven’t denied having sex for money.”

Brody sat back down. “What do you think that means?”

“There aren’t many women who pay for sex. I don’t know whether it’s cultural or the fact that they still average about eighty cents for every dollar a man gets in salary and can’t afford your services.”

“I’m not gay.”

“I didn’t think you were. While the term ‘gaydar’ is a cliché, I’m generally able to read signals. You don’t give them off. It still doesn’t mean that you don’t sleep with men for money. Who knows? Maybe hundred dollar bills give you an erection.”

“I fuck women.”

Kurt said, “Rachel’s ability to hit a clear F at one a.m. left me in no doubt of that. But you still haven’t denied being a hooker, and I still think it’s unlikely you’re getting paid to get off with women.”

“There are some women.”

“Cassandra,” Kurt said. He waved his hand dismissively at the expression on Brody’s face. “Even if Rachel hadn’t told me, the first time I saw you two together, I would’ve been able to tell. Hell, half the class was speculating at lunch.”

“I only do call outs. I know the people I’m going to be with, vet them before there’s any nudity.”

“Are you gay for pay?”

A long silence fell between them. Finally, Brody said, “My best customers are men.”

“Tell me you and Rachel practice really, really safe sex. I want to know that there are full body condoms involved.”  
.  
“We’re having sex. What are you so uptight about?”

Kurt’s eyes narrowed, and Brody suddenly realized that Kurt was bigger than he was. Kurt said, “Her sex life is her business. But your sex life _is_ a business, and I want to know that her second lover, the man she cares about, is not putting her life at risk every time you two fuck. I haven’t said a thing to her about my suspicions because I was trying to figure out a good reason for the antiquated technology and the big roll of cash. I even thought maybe you were a real estate agent. I wanted to talk to you tonight so I could hear something better than my suspicions or Santana’s.”

“You didn’t say anything to Rachel? So you won’t tell her?” Brody brightened a little.

“Are you having safe sex? I don’t want Rachel to star in the Bushwick production of _Rent_. I don’t want to catch your crabs off the toilet seat, and I don’t want to know that Rachel could go blind from syphilis because you earn your spending money on your back. Or your knees.”

There was light applause from the doorway. “Rachel got called by her study group for some kind of last minute change to a scene workshop. I don’t know.” Santana glared at Brody. “I think I know a good place to leave his body, Ladyface.”

“No. I don’t have the money for a manicure, and he’s not worth breaking our nails on.” Kurt smiled at her, and then said to Brody, “I won’t tell Rachel. I make no guarantees for Santana, but I hope she won’t either. The condition is that you get tested every month and let us know what the results are. I don’t want Rachel hurt emotionally or physically. Frankly, I think you’re a bit of a creep, but Rachel thinks she loves you.”

Santana shook her head. “I can’t believe that I thought you were a poor but honest drug dealer. I must be slipping.”

Brody said, “I know you have to count every penny, Kurt. I could get you a couple of good gigs. Once or twice a week and you wouldn’t have to worry about your bills.”

Suddenly, Santana was leaning over Brody with an arm around his throat. “Believe me when I say, where this is concerned, I’m the nice one.”

Kurt said, quietly, “Do you know what my sex talk with my father covered?” 

Brody shook his head very gingerly, and Santana’s arm eased a little.

“He told me not to throw myself around because I was worth something. He was right. If you so much as look like you are about to make that suggestion again, I will find a way to throw you out on the street. Don’t do anything to hurt Rachel, and I will keep my silence. You have no idea what that’s costing me.”

Santana looked at Kurt softly. “ _I_ might. Want to watch a musical? Or _Scarface_? I love making fun of Pacino’s accent.”

Kurt smiled at her, and they walked to the living area together. “What about _Down with Love_? I need some glamour and silliness.”

Brody’s pager sounded. He looked at the number and said, “Tell Rachel I’ll be home around ten.”

They ignored him as the door slid shut.


End file.
